I recently read a letter asking why we as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints don't spend an equal amount of money on each member. Why do we spend more on Young Men than Young Women? Why do we spend more on the Relief Society program than we do on the programs for the men? Why can't we spend the same amount on each member.
Other gender issues were raised by the letter, many which made me think deeply about they way things are and what I might do within the sphere of my influence to improve the way I think about and teach my children about their gender specific roles.
But back to what we spend on males and females. For me that is a simple yet complex issue. My first question when thinking about spending is "Why are we currently spending what we spend?"
The answer I see boils down to this. We spend differently because the needs of the children of God are different.
When I look at my children I see that I spend more to outfit my daughter than my sons. She is the only girl. Sometimes friends have given me hand me downs for her, but mostly I have spent more money to cloth her. And to keep her in art and craft supplies. And accessories.
In other areas, two of my children needed glasses or contacts starting at age four. Another got them in sixth grade. The other didn't need them until eighth grade. He had much less spent on his vision needs than the others.
I thought I was off the hook for the last one. Then just the other day my youngest was diagnosed with perfect vision as we usually think of vision, but he still has a problem, a condition called congenital 4th nerve palsy. It might require surgery. It might mean his vision has a really large expensive one time need.
One of my children has Type 1 diabetes. It happens to be my daughter, but the amount I spend on healthcare would be just as disproportionately large if it was one of my sons. Her care uses far more of the healthcare budget than anyone else in the family.
In my mind the less than equal amount of resources per person extends outside of the question of money and across the earth when I look at the children of God around the world. We don't get an equal pile of stuff when we arrive on earth. We don't really get equal attention either. And many continue to not get as much as others throughout our lives.
As a parent I came early to a recognition of the inequalities in the material supplies, and at times parental attention, I give to each child. I only have so much in the way of resources and time, but my children, at the same time, have only so many needs. Sometimes needs of one child are greater than the needs of another.
My only chance as a parent to do what needs to be done with what I have to work with is to be watchful, prayerful, pleading for insight into what I should be addressing today. I try to seek the input of the Holy Ghost. Sometimes I do better than others, but basically it appears that none of what I give is fair or equal mathemathically, but it is mostly what they need and usually when they need it.
I am grateful for this insight in my life. Sometimes I wish life was fair. Sometimes I wish I got more stuff, more accolades, more attention, but it apparently isn't in my lot in life. My lot is to do the best I can with what I do have and more than that to be grateful and happy and continue to serve where I am as a daughter of God.
