Traditions

I have been thinking about Christmas Traditions this morning.I saw a blog post from a friend about them and last week was talking to a coworker about them.

So what are our traditions I wondered?I can never remember because, having a personal adversion to allowing something stupid to be set in stone just because we did it last year, causes me grief in this area.

So here is the list I can come up with--

Sending (hopefully) funny Christmas letters.

Taking treats to the neighbors and a lot of other friends.

Making, in the earlier years, and buying, usually at Walmart lately, new pjs. (My ten year old actually asked in his Christmas list for no clothes except pjs.)

Planning a really delicious meal. This year with my daughter. My husband asked why we were spending so much time on it because the males didn't care as long as there was food, but I know, since I only cooked about three times last week and only one of those was a nice meal that they commented on. It is important to them too. Not in the same way, but a tradition in eating well as a family at the table.

Our menu this year:
Cheese Vegetable Soup
Homemade Rolls
Romaine Salad w/Pomegrant Seeds, Gorgonzola Crumbles, and Candied Pecans

Monkey Bread
Raspberry Butter Braid
Scrambled Eggs
Sausage and Bacon
Fresh Raspberry, Blueberry, and Grape Salad
Milk

Ham
Roasted Butternut Squash
Garlic Mashed Red Potatoes
Sauteed Brocolli w/ Garlic
Homemade Rolls

Participating in music in school concerts, recitals, and at church.

Here is a video from the high school choir concert Thursday night. Dreyton and Marleise sang. Marleise played it from memory. They astound me with their talent.

Reading the story of Christ's birth from the scriptures on Christmas Eve.

The Schafer Family Quiz - 2012 Edition

The Schafer Family Quiz - 2012 Edition

1.       Who went shirtless 350 days of the year, despite the complaints of the rest of the family?

A.       D                         B. T                   C. B                           D. E

Answer: C. B (9) – He says he is too hot to wear a shirt. Rarely pants either. Usually he is found in cutoff sweats or shorts. No socks.

2.       Who rode a bike to the elementary school a mile away in order to get on a bus to ride to their elementary school nearly every day last year and this year until 20 degree temps and a flat tire stopped them (yesterday)?

A.       B          B. D            C. M           D. C

Answer: A & D, B & C (11) - They are in 4th and 5th grade this year and ride two miles a day back and forth.

3.       Who chopped off all of their hair just before the first day of school?

A.       T – He’s going bald anyway.

B.       B – “It’s too stinking hot!”

C.      M – She wanted something new and exciting for the last year of middle school.

Answer: C, M (14) – It is really cute. See the picture.

4.       Who got a new Fuji bike in May and rode 250 miles on it this year?

                A. K              B. T                    C. C                           D. B

Answer: Well it’s not T. He rode way more miles than that on vintage road bikes, because that is how he rolls. It could be C or B, they did ride a lot of miles to and from the school last year. The answer is A, K. It is light turquoise and she really likes it.

5.       Who spent hours in the neighbor’s basement playing with Legos to make a robot for the Lego League competition?

A.       D          B. M            C. E                D. C

Answer: C & D, E(12) and C joined a First Lego League Robotics team for 9-14 year olds last year and again this year. They did okay last year and better this year. They will be going to the state competition in January. Stay tuned.

6.       T and his friend, Rob, went on a day hike in the Sawtooth Mountains of Idaho. That day they covered...

A.       5 miles           B. 15 miles            C. 21 miles            D. 30 miles

Answer: D, Yes - 30. Crazy. We agree. (This cameo is payback to Rob who always includes T in his annual Christmas letter and has never appeared in ours. Enjoy the moment. It will be another fifteen years until the next shout out.)

7.       Where did the family go on a fun-filled summer vacation?

A. Disneyland       B. The Alamo       C. Broadway         D. Yellowstone        E. Ogden

Answer: both D & E, Yes we toured the Wyoming and Utah border including Yellowstone, Teton Park, Jackson, Montpelier Idaho, USU in Logan, Lagoon, and OGDEN. Don’t ask about the ghetto Motel 6 near 12th on Washington Blvd in Ogden. It was an adventure in smelling like cigarette smoke and wall-to-wall beds and cots for seven people in one $45 a night non-smoking room. Nothing was stolen and we only feared slightly for our lives.

8.       On our summer vacation T took...

A.       Some great pictures of the natural wonders.                         C. Way too many pictures!

B.       A lot of pictures that rarely featured people.                           D. Something like a billion pictures!

Answer: It depends on which family member you ask.

9.       Who went to camp in June and swam in the Sun Valley pool, repelled down a rock face, white water rafted on the Salmon River, and shot lots of arrows?

A. D            B. E                  C. M           D. C          E. B

Answer: C, M had a great time at Camp Hodia because apparently Type 1 diabetics get to do a lot more in the outdoors than the Boy Scouts.

10.    Who went to Scout Camp for the first time, experiencing a lot less adventure than his sister, but getting a whole lot dirtier?

A. D             B. E                  C. C

Answer: B, E - He was filthy and happy. He doesn’t know that his sister did a lot more.

11.   Who finally broke down and got a real job as an office assistant at a local mental health counseling office?

A. K                              B. T                   C. D

Answer: C, D (16) - K continues dabbling in volunteer work and writing/editing non-profit grant proposals. T still works for MarkMonitor, who was acquired by Thomas Reuters this summer. D, thanks to K and all her volunteering contacts, got hired to enter data, file, and generally fill out Medicaid forms for a PSR company. (Okay it wasn’t just K’s connection to, and lunch with the wife of the boss on the day they started hiring; it also helped that the office manager was the mom of one of D’s good friends from Jazz Choir last year.)

12.    Who spent a lovely weekend at the Sun Valley Jazz Jamboree in October?

A. D                            B. T                    C. K                             D. All of the above

Answer: D, D sang with the Jazz Choir for a second year at the Sun Valley Jazz Festival. K pretended to chaperone, but mostly just let all the type A moms take over all of the duties. T drove the car up and back, ate the free food, rode his bike about 65 miles during the day Friday and Saturday, listened to some music, and made all the boys go to bed at night. All the kids and chaperones stayed in the Sun Valley ski season employee dorm which was less than plush but still a step up from the previously mentioned motel in Ogden.

13.    What did we name the mouse who invaded our home for the kickoff of the 12 Days of Christmas?

A. Jerry      B. Stuart      C. Mickey     D. Algernon       E. Fieval        F. Ralph             G. Reepicheep

Answer: D, Algernon - This was a really brilliant mouse. He evaded capture for several days holed up under the dishwasher, stealing the food delivered multiple times daily to his door on a bright yellow spring loaded tray. (It was a 98 cent trap people! The mouse kept taking the food without springing the trap.) Finally in desperation we set up four traps, only baiting the very farthest one from the hole and lured the mouse to a dramatic death at 12:12pm on 12/12/12. (Okay, it was really 11:34am, but the rest of the story is true including the name Algernon. We did not get him flowers.)

The Schafers 2011 by Miss M

Dear Whoever,

I am writing this letter because apparently you care what we do. I personally find this very stalkerish but whatever.

Anyway, this year we did stuff. My dad (40 something – I don’t keep track and he doesn’t tell me) climbed mountains. What their names are I really don’t care but you can email him if you want to know.

My mom (not as old as my dad) fed us, and cleaned for us, and did other stuff. It was very nice. My dad says to tell you she also read a lot. So - SHE READ A LOT. WOO HOO. Like I care.

D (15) did some singing in a Jazz Choir at school. He also debated. I hear he is good. He’s pretty good at arguing with me, so whatever. He says he’s talented. I think mostly obnoxious.

I (13) did some stuff at school, like being Lady Macbeth in a play. I also played the saxophone, which is really irritating when it is crammed into the bus seat with me and two other girls. I should have played a flute or a clarinet like Egan, but my dad had this saxophone…parents are so bothersome.

E (11) started sixth grade. He apparently thinks that this is a great accomplishment.

C (10) did Lego robotics (and Egan did too.) He also played soccer, I think.

B(8) broke the kitchen faucet, played some baseball and soccer and was generally annoying.

As a family, we did some things like…um…going camping and go to Burley for Aunt Carrie’s wedding. We also went to Salt Lake for our other Aunt Carrie’s wedding. We have two Aunt Carries. We are special like that.

I’m sure we did a lot of other stuff this year but I can’t remember most of it so I will just leave it at this, because I don’t really care, and I don’t see why you do either.

I don’t know how to end this-

The Schafers (though primarily Miss M) - 2011

An Average Christmas 2010

2010  

- Just another average year in Our Home -

Another year has slipped by for our family, and it’s been a pretty average one. We slept, we ate, we worked, we argued, we laughed, and we played. Below we share just a few of the average happenings –

• T averaged 8.1 hours of sleep a night. On week days D averaged 6.7 hours of sleep, He averaged 12.6 on weekends. M 6.2 on weekdays, and 10. 1 on weekends. E 9.3. C 8.4. K 7.9. B averaged 8.2 but needed 10.7.
• Our family consumed an average of 2.9 boxes of cereal each day.
• An average of 8.5 gallons of milk were guzzled each week.
• An average 1.3 loaves of bread disappeared into stomachs daily.
• Weekly, an average of 1.5 jars of crunchy peanut butter disappeared, usually on the bread.
• Dishes sat in the sink waiting to be done an average of 4.7 days.
• An average of 8.3 loads of laundry sat waiting for washing, drying, or folding each week.
• An average of 2.9 evenings a week were spent finishing homework. An average of 1.6 hours were spent after 10pm.
• An average of 7.8 pairs of shoes laid in the entry from 5pm to 7am. 2.1 from 9am-5pm.
• On an average day, 3.7 orthodontic rubber bands, in puddles of spit, littered the kitchen table.
• The family room floor hosted an average of 4.8 dirty socks daily.
• Family members attended an average of 14.2 debate, scouts, soccer, basketball, tennis, volleyball, swimming and/or wrestling events each week.
• D, M, E and C practiced .57 hours of piano per day. M spent .16 hours on the saxophone.
• An average of .78 choir, band or piano recitals occurred each month.
• An average of 5.6 hours of the week were spent in church related activities.
• An average of 3.8 arguments occurred daily.
• An average 14.8 family group hugs occurred each week.

We wish you a very average Christmas & New Year too!

And he still says, "I am bored" 4 years later OR Christmas Letter 2009

My name is B. I’m 6 yeres old. I‘m riteng the Christmis letr this yere. – There’s a silent e at the end right?—

C is 8. He relly, relly, relly likes Oreo pudn. He goes crazy for it.  Today I made sum with E. It was relly exasting. I had to ster it for 2 awrs – E was it two hours?—O, 2 minits. That was exasting. C likes playing on kumputrs. Ca duz not like to see me at school. Neether duz E. I think I mite drive them crazy. It is not fun to be the yungest. I hope sumdae I’ll get a miracle and gro big and strong. Til then I’ll try and do evrything rite but sumtimes I mes up.

E is 9. We play all kinds of games. Sumtimes win we play a game, E thinks that it is not fare and I do, but sumtimes I think it is not fare and E duz. But it is not fare. E likes to play at reses at school. Mom says he likes siense and math too, but I don’t no about that. Those things are kinda borine for me. I like reses, free choise and moovees.

M is 11. She is nice sumtimes. Sumtimes she is helpful and I like her here. Sumtimes she teaches me art. She likes to decrate her room and draw girl stuff like flowrs and buttrflys. I don’t like them much. She draws rainbos too. They are prety. Sumtimes she logs me onto the kumputr so I can play games. I have to sit by her on the bus becuze I was being bad at the frunt. It is kinda borine at the back of the bus with M. But I get to lisen to her mp3 playr.

D is 13. He teezes us win we don’t want him to. But sumtimes he is good, not uzualy, and hugs us. He eats like a pig. He needs to go on a diet. But Mom duzn’t think so since he is taler than her and oly ways 123 ponds. We no his wate becuze he resld. I need a lot of food. I only way 51.5 ponds. It is not fare. I need to gro more than him. He is all redy big. Kinda biger than Mom. He is biger than Dad if he stands on the little step stool. So he shuld stop eating so much and giv his food to me.

Mom is not that nice sumtimes. Sumtimes she sends me to bed erly becuze I was being bad. I probly deserv it, but I hate it. She helps me get down toys that I want to play with and sumtimes she can’t becuze she has gone sum where like Walmart or Fred Meyer. She sumtimes lets me fall asleep in her bed, and Dad caryees me upsters. I have a hard time falling asleep in my bed becuze C is smack in the middle of the bed and there isn’t a lot of room for me. Sumtimes I roll around in my bed. C duz not kinda like it.

If you ticle Dad he doesn’t laff. He werks at Suprvalu. It is kinda boring becuze he cumes home at nite and I don’t get to play on his werk laptop. E says they shuld pay him more or let him werk less. Dad has hiking gear. I don’t no eneethng about his gear exsept he has a lot. Dad has about a bilyun hiking poles. Mom thinks that they are an adicshun.

Riting this took to long and I’m bord so Merry Christmes in a happy noow yere!

Schafer Adventure Park 2006

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All We Really Needed to Know, We Learned Again this Year With Our Kids - 2003

The December 2003 Christmas Letter written with apologies to Robert Fulgum

Our life this year has been filled with opportunities to learn and grow and recall the important things. Most of the important things have been brought to our remembrance by our children. Here are just a few of them:

With the help of C, the 2 year old, we discovered that wearing your favorite shirt really starts a day on a happy note, and that the more favorite shirts you own, the more happy days you have.

M, who is now 5 years old, has reminded our family that all large groups need a leader to organize them. We, in turn are teaching her that it is important for the leader to listen to the masses, so that they work together for the common good, as opposed to revolting into greater chaos.

D, at 7 years, taughte rus that if you can read, the world is your to enjoy. And that a good book, unlike most other media, is a quiet thing which will open the door to imagination and calm even the most talkative and savage beast.

A 20 lb, 6 month old, B, confirmed that all you really need to thrive and grow is food, clothing, shelter, and LOVE.

And finally we learned, that even great movie lines can be improved upon form 3 year old E, when in his surprisingly low, Arnold Schwarzenegger-like voice and accent, he said, "I dough-ing to be back!" And we too will return next year with more mundane yet profound bits of wisdom from our home. Assuming of course, that we don't get lost in a book, busy organizing everyone's lives or bummed out because the laundry isn't done.

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas filled with joy and love, some of the most important things of all time.

You know you live with a lot of young children when...

You know you live with a lot of young children when you tell time not by the clock, but instead by the cartoon showing on PBS.

You know you live with a lot of young children when everyone starts out the night sleeping in their own bed and wakes up the next morning in someone else's.

You know you live with a lot of young children when the most requested meals are pbj sandwiches, pizza and hot dogs, and the nicest restaurant you've eaten in lately offered $.69 hamburgers and $.39 ice cream cones.

You know you live with a lot of young children when the closest you've come to an art gallery is the collection of paintings that you keep picking up off the floor and returning to the increasingly overburdened magnets covering the refrigerator. .

You know you live with a lot of young children when the last novel you read was The Little Engine that Could . And the next novel that you are likely to read is The Little Engine that Could .

You know you live with a lot of young children when you and your friends opt to take a four-passenger sedan over your roomier min-van because you don't have to remove and reinstall any car seats.

You know that you live with a lot of young children when you dream of hiring a real maid as you wipe up the bathroom that your one year old son has just "cleaned" with the toilet brush and toilet water.

You know that you live with a lot of young children when your two year old Golden Retriever, answers to the name Egan, and is also known as your son. And you are grateful that you can enjoy two things a dog and a son for the price of one.

You know that you live with a lot of young children when your floor is covered with paper scraps, your table is covered with paper scraps and your four year old daughter is covered with paper scrap and glue from her latest art project, which you now must find a spot for in the "art gallery". Of course you can just call in the one year old maid. He cleans refrigerators, inside and out as well as bathrooms.

You know that you have hope that these children may someday grow up when your six year old informs you that he is going to be a businessman and sell the books that he is now writing when he gets older. Of course some of the excitement is lost when he continues telling you his plan for building his office in you backyard!
But at least your retirement years will be provided for by his plans to build another office next to his, so that Dad can help manage the business.

You know that you are happy with your life when you and the other parent in the house can look up from the clutter, crumbs, and chaos all around you and smile at each other.

December 2002

Deck the Halls 2007

Deck the Halls 2007

Start the fall with a new job for Dad.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Went to HP ‘cause Micron was so bad.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

He thought that was plenty of stress-

Fa la la la la, la la la la

But read on to know the rest.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

We bought a new house, a great place to dwell,

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Room for us and all our stuff as well

Fa la la la la, la la la la

A park with a pond and climbing trees

Fa la la la la, la la la la

We’re sure we all will be really pleased.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Pack up the old house, move some boxes.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

‘Tis not the best season to move houses.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Found some things we’d forgot we had.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Lost much more, it’s really, really sad.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Try to find the winter jackets-

Fa la la la la, la la la la

While we move and stack and stack it.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Move the piano in the snow,

Fa la la la la, la la la la

At least the mover is taking it slow.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Have Thanksgiving at the old place

Fa la la la la, la la la la

With everything gone it has a lot more space.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

“Maybe we should just stay here.”

Fa la la la la, la la la la

“Have you lost your marbles dear?”

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Thought we’d love that park and pond.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

It even has geese of which we would be fond-

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Except for turds from honking birds.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Instead of gaggles they must come in herds.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Spend our first night in the new abode

Fa la la la la, la la la la

We’ve only moved a mile across the road.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Miss the bus at the new bus stop-

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Run back home, avoiding goose plop-

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Think about dear family and friends

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Plan to write them before the Holidays end.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Good intentions are thwarted once more.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Hope the New Year is great for you and yours.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

In case you didn’t follow the song, On September 4, Tad started a new job at Hewlett-Packard here in Boise. His life was pretty much turned upside down. On October 10 we made an offer on a roomier home about a mile away from our old home. The builder accepted the offer and suddenly everybody’s life was turned upside down. We signed and signed and signed on November 14 and began an exhausting holiday adventure which we are still in the middle of.

While it has been a stressful year with many ups and downs we feel truly blessed. We are very appreciative of the help and support of so many friends, the opportunities we have had to connect with many old friends, and the chance we have to build new friendships. Although it has been a year full of changes for our family, we recognize even greater changes for many, many of our friends and family as they have faced moves, loss of jobs, job changes, illness and personal tragedies. We feel blessed to know so many good, courageous people. You are always in our thoughts and prayers.

Love,

The Schafers 

Happiness in Whoville

I found it! I found it! I fou-ound it!
I went for a look
And what did I find my beautiful book.
The Grinch didn't steal it.
He didn't take it at all.
It was right there on the shelf
Just under the elf.
Where no one has looked for a year day.
No one has looked until I did today.
So happiness reigns supreme you see.
Joy and laughter and a moment of Christmas past memory.

Christmas Quotes 2004

The Top Ten Quotes Heard in the

Schafer Home in 2004

10.   “I have lots of talents, and I’m going to get lots more when I get big like you.”

9.  “I think that probably everything you learn as a kid you remember as a grown up.”

8.  “It’s daytime, but the clouds are hiding the blue.”

7.  “A thumb is a kind of finger that is fat.”

6.  “You’re going to miss the next Eat if you don’t come. So Come!”

5.  “You aren’t over the hill Dad. You are just on the Top!”

4.  “Kids aren’t suppose to serve their parents.”

3.  “I don’t need bubble gum. I can blow bubbles like this.” (With spit)

2.  “Parents aren’t suppose to give their kids toys away!”

1.  “Parents are suppose to serve their kids.”

The Schafer Family wishes you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year with lots of daytimes of blue not hidden by clouds!

The Advent of the Schafer Family Christmas Form Letter

Sometime around Christmas 2003, I gave up on writing individual letters and gave into form letters. I had five lovely little people ruling my world and I was overcome. They looked awfully cute in the Christmas card picture I found.

D was seven. M was four. E was three and C was two at this point. B was six months old. I was tired and brain dead. (Because it wasn't until today that I noticed Egan is wearing a beach shirt for the Christmas card. Awesome planning obviously was involved in this shot.) Tad was around somewhere doing all the stuff I couldn't manage, like taking Christmas card pictures and saving them on the computer for posterity.

I am not completely sure when I actually started writing the letters. It could have been earlier. I am pretty sure that there was at least one before the 2004 letter that I have recovered from the depths of the plethora of hard drives in this messy office where I sit.

If I ever find that letter, I'll post it and any others that have survived. But meanwhile, I thought I'd get the ones that I do have recorded here, for my reading and remembering pleasure. It will be an advent of sorts, leading up to this year's piece of hilarity.

I hope you enjoy them too.

These Eyes

I turned forty once. Not that long ago. Well not that long ago considering, one year to forty seems like nothing.

Anyway I turned forty and somewhere about then I noticed that I couldn't see to thread a needle if the light was dim..Then I couldn't see to quilt or cross stitch. I got headaches from trying. I got some cheap reading glasses, in the wrong power and continued, for awhile anyway. Then the season of sitting and waiting at swimming/gymnastics/whatever kid activity gave over to the season of running one kid to one activity followed by another kid to another activity and if I was lucky only driving around once in circles to pick them each up instead of throwing another kids or two into the traffic pattern.

I mostly quit having time to do needlework. I kind of lost interest and just started reading to fill the spaces in between the moments of my busy life.

And I forgot where I put the first pair of reading glasses.

But my eyes didn't forget. They just kept getting slowing worse until my favorite hobby, reading, started to be affected.

The year I turned 44, I talked with the optometrist in the ophthalmologist's office as she measured me for new contacts. She mentioned mono vision contacts as an option. "Some people have problems getting use to them, but you could try them," she said.  I wasn't sure that I was ready. So I just got my normal terribly near sighted/astigmatized correction and I moved on. Things were about the same for about six months and then they got awful.

For those of you readers who are blessed to have "perfect eyesight" and who are still younger than forty, let me explain a little bit. I have near sighted eyes. Which meant when I was younger I could see things, like a book or stitching up close without a problem. I could not see across the room. Additionally I have a fairly severe astigmatism, which adds an extra blur to things. But if I am wearing glasses or contacts, I can see just fine. Or I could until I got into my forties.

You, dear reader, may think that you will never face these problems because you have never had problems seeing. YOU ARE WRONG. Your perfect eyes will, somewhere around age 45, betray you. And you won't be able to read your newspaper, book, kindle, phone, OR eventually computer screen. You will get headaches, and it will stink. You will know you have arrived when you constantly hand your phone/pill bottle/assembly instructions to your child and say, "What does that say?"

I knew that some day I would have to deal with this. This past September the day came along. I just couldn't stand the headaches anymore. I went into the ophthalmologist's office and said, "Tell me about mono vision contacts." And she did.

We determined to make my left eye the far vision eye, and the right eye was the close up worker. I ordered one right contact. And left the office with her advice on making this a success ringing in my mind, "Whatever you do. Don't think too much about it."

So that was my strategy. "Don't think too much about it."
It is a silly strategy, but it worked. When ever my mind seemed to be overloaded by information, I just told it to stop thinking so much about it. And within two days, I had eyes that worked again.

It is great to be able to see. At least until I need trifocals. Do you think I would look funny with a third eye in the middle of my forehead?

Bridges to Belonging

Fifth and sixth grade brought friendship with peers into my life. I started to feel like I belonged. I started to feel important.

I'd gone to elementary school with a large group of girls. Learned to make friends with them. We went to each others homes. We had parties. It was fun.

Yet we had moments that signaled the problems to come. More than one of us had leadership abilities. In fifth and sixth grade I could feel the tension between the different girls who wanted to lead. Heck I was one of them, fighting practically invisible battles to be chief.

So off we went to White Mountain Junior High and racing hormones. I don't remember when it started, but early in the first semester Liz decided that she was done with Kim. (I have changed all of their names.)

She, Liz, probably thought she had good reason to exclude Kim from our lunch table. Kim's family was imploding. Divorce, drugged out older siblings, and a total lack of family values were all involved, but Kim herself was salvageable if she'd had friends inviting her to a safe, higher place. Or maybe she would still have run off to be a bar girl.

I tried to convince the group to be kind and make room for her at our lunch table, and the next day I found no room there for me.

Painful doesn't even begin to describe the level of feelings I experienced. I had worked so hard to be kind and keep everyone involved when Liz had tried to take over and run things her way in elementary schools. She'd had mean moments then and few of us had avoided being in her sights. Yet despite the  efforts I'd made for them in the past, none of them went out on a limb to save me and insist that I get a spot at lunch.

I was crushed, and worse I had to figure out how to gracefully find another place to eat each day.

I eventually found a lonely girl, new to the school, who moved after that year. Each day I began eating with her. We spent time at each others homes. She taught me more about black eye liner than I ever needed. And we were friends.

The next semester, my schedule changed and I was now eating third lunch. A whole different group of people was there in the lunch room during the last lunch period.A whole different group who had come from other elementary schools. A whole new group who welcomed me in at lunchtime.

Finally after months of struggling alone, I felt surrounded by friends again. I felt like I belonged.

Bridges to the Past

Last night in the midst of doorbells dinging to announce the arrival of amazingly clad beggars of sweetness, I finished reading Bridge to Terabithia for the second time. The first time I read it, I was a fifth grader just like the characters in the story.

Fifth grade was a big year for me. I was an extremely shy child. Kindergarten went okay, but by first grade and second grade, I was so stressed out by the social scene, that I regularly threw up in order to avoid school. Fortunately I was smart enough to keep up academically, but I was an emotional basket-case when it came to fitting into the group of kids at school.

In third grade an awesome teacher helped me come out of my shell by allowing me to spend most recesses talking to her during playground duty. She was probably bored to death, but that understanding ear made all the difference. In fourth grade, my leadership skills started to slowly emerge thanks to the help of another teacher. By fifth grade, the crippling effects of shyness were in the past and I had become part of the group.

But fifth grade brought more challenges. Now I was part of the group, but each individual member was growing and exerting their experience and ideas on where we all should be going. Sometimes that lead us to being kind to one another and others outside the group. Sometimes it didn't.

The fifth grade teachers swapped students for different subjects to level the classes. My homeroom teacher, LaPrele Robins, was a gracious, warm woman who loved math and reading cook books. She was a grandma who grew geraniums in the classroom and loved all her students. She taught me everything except reading. Ms. (the first Ms. I ever had) Harrison was single. She loved literature and probably loved teaching, but she mostly scared me to death.

We read The Lemming Condition, Rabbit Hill, The Phantom Tollbooth, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and Bridge to Terabithia independently as part of our reading curriculum. Then we were required to create a project to express our experience with the book. I hated those projects. Even now I'd rather write or talk about my feelings, but glue, glitter, paint, or paper mache was the requirement.

Despite the fact that I was basically petrified to be in her class for that hour every day, Ms. Harrison assigned books that I loved reading. Still this second time through Bridge to Terabithia shows me that I really didn't get a very deep understanding of the themes of those books. I reread The Lemming Condition in the last couple years too. I think she was making a statement about the condition of fifth - ninth grade girls in general with Lemming and Bridge, but I totally missed that the first time around.

Bridge is about a boy named Jesse who doesn't fit into his family and doesn't really feel important or cared for at school. Leslie, a girl, moves in down the road. Jesse's plan for the year was to be The Fastest Fifth Grade Runner. Leslie runs faster. Jesse finds himself back down in the unrecognized masses, but then Leslie, who has been trying to reach out to him as a friend, finally makes it through his defenses. Together they create a world and begin find a place to belong. There is more to the story, but you should read it and experience it yourself if you haven't already.

Pre and middle teens, girls especially, are brutally unkind to each other. They are trying to find themselves and define their place in space. The way they often do that is by crushing someone else and taking their space. That all is dealt with in this book.

I had those same experiences in fifth and sixth and seventh grade. And again in tenth. It was hard. I learned somewhere along in there that I have infinite worth regardless of what the group thinks, says, or does. They may not be listening to or following me, but that doesn't make my ideas or direction wrong. And their direction isn't necessarily wrong for them either. But it can be really hard if you know that you aren't suppose to be following them. And worse if they bar you from following them. Rejection stinks.

Ode to September--

Here we are only five days in and I have already forgotten one assignment, quit two more, and spent time figuring out how to off load most of another one. It is the joy of five kids, a husband, a job, and a refusal to not enjoy life.

September holds such promise. A third of the year is left. Much can be accomplished, yet in a blink, the year will be gone.

I am 500 miles into my 1,000 mile goal.  (I only started in April, so I should be fine. Maybe.) I am slowly making progress towards another life time goal in the health arena.

I like myself. I like who I am now. I am probably not in the autumn of my life now, but definitely through spring, and I like having the experience and peace with myself to be able to say to things and people, "Umm, no. I am not getting worked up over that." Guilt that is not needed and worry are burdens I now choose to leave sitting.

I know what is important and needful. I know what I want to do. I know what I have to do, and I sincerely don't care what almost anybody else thinks I should do. (Except maybe my husband occasionally, since he kind of rides in on the want to do list.)

So here I am September. We both know it is going to be a long endurance run into October, but we also know that we can both do it.

You will continue to throw everything at me, a skill you have developed over many years. I will do what is necessary and not fret the rest, because that is a good way to live a life of abundance like mine.

Not in frantic frenzy. Not in waves of worry or the depths of depression. I am enough for myself. The things I choose to do are generally pretty amazing and awesome, because I affect lives for thebetter. The lives of my husband, mychildren, and everyone who I see even if it is only for a moment of smiling as we pass.

I have found peace and joy come what may and I found it in you September, about a year ago. After years of struggle, we have come together in peaceful coexistance. And we are good.

The Circle of Life

The green beans are on. Full force. My daughter and youngest son picked them last night and filled a very large bowl.

I like beans. I especially enjoy them sauteed in olive oil, with a little minced garlic and salt and pepper thrown in at the last moment. Delicious.

I didn't like them as much when I was a kid. My parents always seemed to plant three entire packages of bean seeds: green beans, yellow wax beans, and flat Italian beans. It made for hours of picking and snapping and freezing. (We never canned green beans, back then. I don't think my mom had a pressure canner at that point.)

Picking took forever. And once you finished the beans, there were still tomatoes.

My memories of picking and preserving are kinda grumpy ones, but I actually enjoyed being in the garden looking at the growing plants. I would walk the paths and tell my imaginary friend what everything was. I was awfully old for an imaginary friend, but the exercise cemented the different plants and weeds in my mind.

When I finally got a house, I wanted a garden of my own. Which is strange since they are full of work. But it is fun work, as long as you don't plant too much.Nothing is more exciting in yard than watching a seed sprout and fulfill its potential.

Over the last 15 years or so, I have planted tomatoes, broccoli, cucumbers, pumpkins, cantaloupe, watermelon, beans, peas, spinach, lettuce, and raspberries.

This year my daughter wanted to plant and care for the garden, which is a really great way to go if you are busy, have the kids do it.

She planted tomatoes, cucumbers and beans. And we are busy eating and freezing again.

Trek Post --- The End

The other day, Brother C asked me if I had fun on Trek. I find that fun isn't the right word to describe the experience of Trek. Hard and hot, dusty and dirty, worthwhile, amazing, and "push you to the edge of your own personal type of difficult" might be better ways to describe Trek.

For me the difficulty and the joy in Trek came from being responsible for eight other people, people younger and mostly less experienced with “outdoor adventure” than the folks I normally go out with on these types of trips.

I had prepared myself by walking about five miles a night several nights a week in the months before. I read about pioneers and pondered to understand why we go on Trek as modern day Saints.

I came to the conclusion that it is for several reasons: 1) To show us that we are capable of doing physically hard things. 2) To remind us that others are around to help us through hard things. And 3) To help us understand that having and living the Gospel is worth giving up everything, including your life.

So out we all went into the dust and heat of the Owyhee Desert, dressed as pseudo pioneers to pretend for a few days and gain more perspective on what is really important. And one thing that was highly important to me was to return my young charges to their parents in one -- unblistered, and unsunburned piece.

Life on the trail went along its dusty way and was pretty good and easy for me. I was blessed with a family of quiet but strong and amazing youth, with whom I would be thrilled to spend another long weekend, somewhere beside the desert pushing a handcart. They are excellent young people who have the talent and abilities to do well in their lives.

I was tired and ready to be off my feet the by second day, but I was happy, because I knew I only had one more day to get through and one more meal to cook. And while that was true,  the third day turned out to be the hardest for me.

By the third day, I was somewhat dehydrated. I was worried about two of my “sons”, N and S, who were struggling with walking in the heat, but fortunately building relationships with two wonderful members of the Bishopric. I wondered about the strength and stamina of my husband and Z, who had literally hauled the cart together for most of the way. I felt concern for the two absolutely amazing young girls, S and H, who spent nearly the whole trip being the cart brakes. I was worried about MW's feet and MS’s blood sugar. And I wondered if CS was having any fun at all.

Maybe the last mile of trail was planned to be a metaphor for life. It certainly became one to me. I saw it as the last part of my journey in this painful Trek life. The celestial “green weedy grass” kingdom was before me. I wanted to move through this veil of tears and get on with things like resting in the shade and drinking ICE WATER. (Seen any old people with the same basic desire lately?) But we kept stopping. And Stopping. And STOPPING… And grumbling.

Finally we saw the people on the other side of the river. 

Our dead. 

Waving at us. 

Cheering us on.

 It was heartening. 

Until I realized that we were not finished with the Trek yet. Grumble.

We had to rescue those waving dead people.  Grumble. Grumble. GRUMBLE!!!

This was not on my list of things to do today. (Let's not even go into the possible parallels with getting oneself to the temple to do work for the kindred dead.)

My attitude was less than cheerful as I walked down toward the water to listen to the vignette about the river crossing. I had to scold myself and say a little prayer for strength. Thankfully God loves all his children, even the grumpy, grumbly ones. He sent a cooling breeze almost immediately and my emotions were softly soothed.

I was able to stand patiently waiting for this last piece of Trek trail life to end.

Because I had been reluctant to even go to the river, (yes I was seriously entertaining thoughts of picking up the blasted cart myself and walking alone into Hy Cliffs), I was near the back of the group at the river. When I turned around, I discovered that the parents of all the youth on Trek, being unable to contain their excitement to see their kids, snuck up behind us.

I cannot truly express the euphoria that swept over my body as I turned and saw them. I was no longer responsible for these young people or the cart!

As far as I was concerned any or all of them could have had the cart to push and pull, but my daughter, who was finally recovered from the up and down blood sugar levels, wanted me to be in the yoke with Tad “like the picture on our Trek shirt”, so I want to publicly thank Z for graciously giving up his rightful spot, and allowing me to take it.

I want to also thank TM, RL, and anyone else who pushed on the sides and back to get us the last little way into camp. (I couldn’t see you, and at the time I didn’t care, but I felt your help.) I also am grateful for CA watching over MS on that last day when she needed medical help. Thank you to CH, who during that last difficult day, became our adopted son for a few hours and blessed us all with his pushing and braking talents. 

Appreciation also goes to M and V for taking such good care of E, my own fair skinned boy, who returned with no sunburn or problem. And C and B for watching out for D. I never worried about them.

And finally to my visiting teacher-- Thanks for packing your dishpans...and sharing.