October Attitude

I’d like to begin today by stating right up front this is a rant:

I hate campaigns - all of them. And I have a word to say about them. (Technically I have 354 words to say. Thanks to Microsoft Word for counting them.)

Political Candidates: I don’t want to hear your opinion about why I should vote for you. Tell me what you stand for on a nice sheet of 8 1/2”x11”, bail out the United States Post Office by mailing it to me, and then go away and let me decide whether to vote for you or not. All the money you save can be spent on one of the below causes, put toward the national debt, or used to finance a nice trip for you and fifty of your closest friends and relatives to boost the economy of a small island nation.

Purveyors of Wrapping Paper, Wreaths, Cookie Dough, Butter Braids, Etc.: Send me your propaganda and then leave me alone. I will contact you if I chose to do so. And so help me, if you tell my children one more time that they can win fabulous prizes by selling just 3 of your products, I will never again even consider purchasing the merchandise that I am not ever going to purchase from you.

Fine and Just Causes: (Yes I’m talking to you pink ribbon Breast Cancer people)
Despite the fact that you are attempting to take over the whole year, you really should only get one dedicated month. I’ll concede that you are allowed to do your best to spread your message across the world. I will do my best to politely smile, even when you seep into the rest of the year.

You have a fine and just cause. People who are concerned about curing, stopping, saving, and eradicating your issue should rush right up and help. I realize that undeserving folks are trying to live with the issue you passionately care about daily and it is excruciatingly difficult for them. But understand I have my own causes. They are dear/hateful to me. I will be doing all I can to work on and live with them, so when I politely say I cannot support your cause, graciously thank me for my courtesy, and LEAVE ME ALONE.

Also stay the heck out of November. That month belongs to one of my causes.

Thank you.